Trouble sleeping
by Miss92
Summary: James is troubled and can't sleep, because a certain Lily Evans confuses him beyond anything. Pairing: James and Lily, obviously.


**Trouble sleeping…**

He followed her as she gracefully made her way out of the Gryffindor common room where a huge party was being held after yet another win of his Quidditch team. Her red hair fell on her shoulders and swayed lightly. He could not stop admiring her and her perfect ways and he grinned at himself for he knew he would catch up with her within a few seconds. Her heels allowed her to not walk any faster than the pace she was walking with now.

His hand slipped into hers and he could see the corner of her mouth go up, before she jerked her hand away from him and cast him a warning look. "Not now, Potter," she only said and she continued walking. He was, however, not going to give up. He took her hand in his again and forced her to look at him and stop walking by blocking her path.

"You're torturing me," he said and he swore that he could see a satisfied glint in the beautiful girl's eyes. "Why are you going to see him again?" The satisfied glint seemed to disappear from her eyes as they narrowed. He had to resist the urge to kiss her right there and then as he watched her lips purse.

"Because he's my boyfriend," she said and again jerked her hand out of his grip, "and I'm allowed to see my boyfriend whenever I please, _Potter_." The tone of her voice was threatening, but he didn't back away nor was he considering letting her get away from him.

"But I'm here," he said and took a step towards her. His hands went up to her face and the tenderly stroked them, forcing her to look up at him. "You can't fool me," he whispered in her ear and he could see how her eyes clouded over with lust and longing. "You'd rather stay with me."

Just when he had thought he could steal a kiss from her pink lips, she had pushed him away and sent him a glare. "That was only once, Potter," she said. Again her voice sounded threatening and she moved away from him a bit. "But honestly, it was _only_ a kiss!"

She had started to walk away from him again, but he was just in time to catch her around the waist and to turn her to face him. "You know it was much more than _just_ a kiss, Lily," he said her name tenderly and he knew it affected her more than she let on. "It was meant to be."

She smiled sweetly at him and he thought he had finally convinced her, especially when she moved her face towards his. "In your dreams, Potter," she whispered and then pushed him away so hard that he lost his balance and felt his back and then his head hit the hard and stone Hogwarts' floor.

He swore loudly as he heard her heels hit the floor in a faster rhythm than before and he realised she was too far away from him to try anything. He got up from the floor. The hall was empty and he decided to turn around and make his way to the party that was being held, because his Quidditch team won spectacularly.

He mumbled the password to the Fat Lady, who was eyeing him in – dare he say it? – pity and he even felt more of a loser. Even though he had just scored ten times in the match against Ravenclaw. A grin spread across his face. At least, he had beaten Amos Diggory, but he somehow didn't feel as victorious as he had imagined before the match. He might have humiliated the lucky guy by making sure he wouldn't keep the Quaffle out of the hoops whenever he threw it at him, he still hadn't convinced his girlfriend that she was meant to be with him instead of Diggory.

The loud music coming out of the speakers that Sirius had conjured instantly when they came back from the match, euphorically singing and laughing, because they had won just another match. He sighed as he suddenly realised that the loud music was causing his head to ache or maybe it was all the thinking about Lily he did. Sirius had told him it was surely going to drive him mad one day and even Remus admitted that Sirius might actually be right on that one. And to be honest, _he_ was starting to think Sirius was right as well.

She was driving him bonkers. That was for sure. Ever since she had kissed him on their patrols, in the Astronomy Tower nonetheless, she hadn't left his mind and had driven him up the wall when she had apologised and told him that she had meant nothing by it.

He had convinced himself he was doing just fine, but even he knew that he couldn't fool himself into actually being convinced by such a silly thought. He wanted her. He wanted her more than anything in the world and having tasted her sweet, soft kiss… he longed for more.

"You all right, champion?" he smiled at his friend that had casually wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Many ladies are waiting for you to make a move. Who will be the lucky lady tonight?"

He shrugged and sent his friend a grin. "Not tonight, Padfoot," he said. His friend sent him a disappointed look, but he, for once, could not be bothered by it, to be honest. "I'm heading to bed, I'm having a bad headache."

He knew his friend stared after him as he climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitories and he didn't find this strange at all. Sirius had probably never seen him decline a girl nor had he ever seen him heading to bed before the party had ended. He felt stupid for going to bed, but he couldn't celebrate the fact that he had just won a Quidditch match and had completely destroyed Diggory's ego, as had been the plan.

He sighed as he opened the door to his dormitory and felt slightly better as he closed the door behind him and couldn't hear the loud music anymore. He jumped onto his bed and grabbed the Marauders' Map.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good," he mumbled as he tipped the as of yet empty parchment with the tip of his wand. Hogwarts soon appeared and he quickly found the Ravenclaw common room.

He groaned in annoyance as he noticed the dot that said Lily Evans wasn't in the common room and he knew that meant there was only one place he could still find her: Diggory's dorm. His wand searched the map and he soon found the two dots reading 'Amos Diggory' and 'Lily Evans'. He threw the map away in frustration. He knew very well that Lily and Diggory were most likely not playing chess up in his room.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath that calmed him down immensely and for a few seconds he didn't think about his Lily in the arms of that pompous Diggory. But soon after the anger he had felt before flared up again.

He just knew that Lily was consoling Diggory for having lost a match against him, James Potter and she was most likely throwing all kinds of insults to his head, while he could not defend himself at all. And Diggory, the stupid prat, would soon be kissing her lips and various other places on her body that he, James, had only been able to dream about.

It was killing him, slowly, as though a snake had bitten him and the poison still had minutes to go before it would reach his heart. His heart, however, was already feeling the severe pain and started pumping so quickly that it seemed as though his heart knew that he still had only minutes to go and wanted to make up for the lost time.

However, the fact that his heart was going faster was most likely, because of the anger that he felt whenever he thought of Lily and Diggory together. She had been his from the start. They were meant to be ever since they had both been born, they were written in the stars. It was just his luck that he had known this for years now, while Lily was still oblivious to this fact.

He closed his eyes again and let his head rest on his pillow. The aching seemed to tone down a bit and he let out another deep breath and smiled slightly as he remembered the way she had kissed him. Her right hand roaming through his hair, while her left hand had sweetly cupped his cheek. He remembered how surprised he had been. He had just been telling her about the fact that he wanted to become an auror once the year was over and suddenly she had almost thrown herself at him. Not that he had complained.

His eyes snapped open as he suddenly let another vision take over his most precious memory. He gritted his teeth as he remembered how she had laid her palm on Diggory's chest the day after she had kissed him, James Potter, and how she had passionately kissed Amos Diggory on the lips.

The green monster inside of him had started to roar and was ready to attack, but his sensible side, a side he wasn't that familiar with, reasoned that attacking Amos Diggory might not be the most sensible thing to do. So, he had decided right there and then that he would kick Diggory's bum at the Quidditch match and hopefully, he would impress Lily because of it.

His hope had been in vain. Lily Evans hadn't even looked at him after the match, only when he had just forced he to look at him in the halls had she done so. She was probably sore, because he had crushed her boyfriend's ego.

He heard the door to his dorm open and close to reveal Remus Lupin, who sent him a kind smile and walked up to him. "Are you okay?" asked Remus. His voice sounded concerned and fatherly, like it always did whenever James was moping or sulking around, because Lily wouldn't give him the time of the day.

"Yeah," he said and shrugged. Remus sent him a disbelieving look, but didn't ask any more questions and changed the subject to the Quidditch match.

"You played a damn good game today, James," Remus said as he sat down on his bed and took his shoes off. "Everyone was impressed. Some even say McGonagall is going to write a letter in your favour to Puddlemere United or any other club."

The corners of his lips went up slightly. Sure, he was flattered and his ego was boosted by all the compliments that his fellow Gryffindors were paying him, but to him they didn't really mean anything. Only one person in Gryffindor could make him blush after such a compliment and that person hated his guts and kissed him at the same time. Good way to make a guy confused.

"Lily didn't seem impressed," he said and realised his mistake. Now Remus would want to talk about his misery and broken heart. To be honest: James would rather die than have another talk about his feelings for the lovely Lily.

"I wouldn't say that," said Remus then, surprising James, "I sat next to her in the stands and I've never seen her cheer louder than when you scored."

For a moment, James felt euphoric, but then the feeling toned down when he realised Lily was still together with Diggory, consoling him. "I appreciate that you want to make me feel better, Moony," he said and let out a deep breath again. "But I realise that Evans hating me is just the price I pay for being insufferable for many years."

"James," Remus said sternly, but James shut the curtains around his bed with one simple wave of his wand and Remus stopped. James had always been able to make it clear when he wanted to talk and when he didn't want to talk.

James pinched the bridge of his nose as he took off his glasses and closed his eyes. He could feel himself dozing off and he didn't mind this a bit. Maybe he would be able to sleep peacefully for once this year.

He jumped up after he heard the door open with a loud crack. He heard Sirius mumble a somewhat drunken 'sorry' and heard his friend loudly make his way to his bed, cursing loudly when he hit something.

James sighed. He had been asleep for what had seemed like a minute, but he was sure it had been longer than that. He slowly opened the scarlet curtains that were surrounding his bed and sat up. Sirius was mumbling something incoherent as he let himself fall onto his bed and he started snoring as soon as his head hit his pillow.

He smiled slightly at his friend's antics and looked at his other friends. Peter had apparently arrived before Sirius had and James was grateful that Peter really did resemble a rat sometimes. He could sneak in without anyone ever noticing.

He stood up and walked towards the window. It was pouring outside and he snorted. Perfect way to end his day or to start his new day. He shook his head and put his forehead against the cold window to make his mind go numb. However, the instant he did this, he suddenly had the vision of Lily Evans lying in Amos Diggory's arms.

He groaned and felt sick at the thought of Diggory holding someone so beautiful, precious and innocent as his Lily. How did he ever deserve someone so perfect? What had Diggory done in a previous life to get someone like her?

And to think the images of Lily in Diggory's arms were only in his head. What if he would ever see it in real life? Would he explode? He was sure he would do something he would regret when he'd see Diggory holding Lily close to him, stroking the soft skin of her arms… or his hands going under her blouse…

He pulled at his hair in frustration and slid down the wall. She really did drive him mad and she really was killing him. She had him, whether she wanted to have him or not and he wished she would want him, so that he could stop feeling so jealous that he wasn't able to sleep or eat or drink...

He heard a soft knock on the door to his dorm and looked up in surprise. It was the middle of the night, he must have imagined it. But still he stood up and slowly walked towards the door to open it.

He was just in time. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the familiar face with the red hair surrounding it turning away for him to descend the stairs. "Hey," he said surprised, shaking his head, "what's going on?"

She turned around and for the first time he noticed that her mascara was running over her pale cheeks and that she was crying. She was carrying her heels in her hands and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, groaning when she noticed the black streaks on them because of it. "I'm sorry," she said and sniffed. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

He shook his head, not knowing what to say and after a moment of hesitation he wrapped his arms around her and enveloped her in a warm embrace. "Did Diggory do something to you? Did he hurt you?" he asked, his body already starting to tremble in anger.

Lily rested her hands against his chest and shook her head. "Don't be angry with him," she said and he noticed how she had closed her eyes as she let her head rest on his shoulder. "It's all my own fault."

He was confused beyond anything, but let himself relax a bit and felt how his heart had quickened and knew that this was all because of her close proximity to him. He wondered if she knew what she was doing to him. "I'm confused," he said and she chuckled lightly, making him shiver.

"I broke up with Amos," she almost whispered and moved one of her hands to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "It wasn't _only_ a kiss, James," she said and he was speechless, "and I don't want it to have happened only once and I really rather wanted to stay with you."

He let go off her and he now noticed the scared and hopeful look in her eyes, but most of all he noticed the longing and love in them that he knew was also in his eyes when he looked at her and he smiled a satisfied smile. "Come on," he said as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and he guided her inside of his room. "Let's try to catch some sleep."

She willingly walked with him and he smiled as he sat down on his bed and Lily sat down next to him, trying her best to stifle a yawn. He pushed her down, so that her head touched his pillow and she smiled contentedly as he lay down beside her. His arms instinctively wrapped around her and her forehead rested on his shoulder.

James couldn't help but smile as he felt her snuggle some more against him and he couldn't help but think that she – _yes!_ – had finally chosen him over the Diggory-guy. And he was contented as he closed his eyes that night and eager to open them again the next morning to find his Lily in his arms.

**Author's Note: **Just a story I wrote, because I was inspired by... a lot of songs. I hope you all liked it and please leave me a review to tell me what you think. I know it's all very tiring to send a review, but please... I really want to know what you think. Thank you for reading!


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